i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
How external is "for external use only"?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
