I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
