Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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