I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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