I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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