Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!

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(973): View more from New Jersey

I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.

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(541): View more from Oregon

we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".

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(562): View more from California

Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics

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(562): View more from California

The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons

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(703): View more from Virginia

And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...

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