I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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