Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
