The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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