Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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