hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
A+ Viking dick
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
