I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
