i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
my poor anus
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
