So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
