I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
