We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
