i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
is that a dick in a sweater?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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