i think my tv is drunk
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
