Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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