What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
