We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
