help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
