We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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