So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
