What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
