i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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