The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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