Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize