I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
