her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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