never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize