is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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