youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
