nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
