take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize