sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I know her cup size but not her name....
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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