Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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