would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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