I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
