a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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