I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
