there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
