please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
