so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
