Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
