His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
