My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
