I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
