he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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