why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
