Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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