you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
