Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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