So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
