I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
