grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I enjoy the company of your penis
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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