I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
wow bdsm is so cute
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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