i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize