if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
