i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
