I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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